When he time comes to leave, just walk away quietly and don't make any fuss. — Banksy Copy Share Image
Peeking out of your 3D glasses during a movie just to see the difference — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hitler didn't snub me—it was FDR who snubbed me. The president didn't even send me a telegram. — Jesse Owens Copy Share Image
I hope the colder weather won't deter you from continuing to wear slutty summer dresses to the office. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Have you ever or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage, or in terrorist activities, or genocide? I think we can… — Claire North Copy Share Image
“You and pretty Tarquin had a moment today. Do you truly think he'll join us?' 'If you mean in bed, definitely not,'… — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Catholic school graduates exhibit a wide variety of qualities that will not only help them in their careers but also in their… — Joe Baca Copy Share Image
A reputation takes years and years and years to build, and it takes one press of a button to ruin it. Don't… — J. J. Watt Copy Share Image
Meeting people at the bar is like going to the grocery store when your hungry - you bring home sh*t you don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Matilda' is my favorite movie of all time. It's so funny. It's about this girl who's so independent and smart, and she… — Storm Reid Copy Share Image
This ain't Facebook... It's More like fuckbook... Sneakbook... Try to cheat n creepbook... lookbook... I don't like that hoe but I'm gone… — Bonita Bryant Morris Copy Share Image
“I held in the sneeze, though, by thinking of the word cucumber. It always works.” — Merrie Haskell Copy Share Image
Show Me The Funny' was not very successful ratings wise, but the right people saw me. — Ellie Taylor Copy Share Image
Most of my mannerisms come from my Mum, who is quite a funny, witty, chatty person. My Dad was very shy. — Jason Bonham Copy Share Image
You are not your thoughts, and you are not the product of your thoughts. — Alan Finger Copy Share Image
My fans are so funny, they make me laugh so much. I've got some really, really, funny, clever fans. — Ellie Goulding Copy Share Image
I told him he'd have a heart attack a year ago, but unfortunately he lived a year longer. — Eugene Ormandy Copy Share Image
There are three sides to an argument, your side, my side, and the right side, which is still my side! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Identify the dominant philosophy of a society and you can predict its future. — Ayn Rand Copy Share Image
“Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
