Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button youll be disconnected! — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
If Jesus bore the cross, and died on it for me, ought I not to be willing to take it up for… — Dwight L. Moody Copy Share Image
I mean what good does it do anyone to kill themselves working, because the worms will get you in the end. — Dorothy Gish Copy Share Image
Interpreting at its core is taking in one language and putting out the other. — Jennifer Abbott Copy Share Image
Ive got a lot of life left in me and I want to live it doing things I like to do. — Morgan Freeman Copy Share Image
Regha called this life's like an ice cream, so quickly melt than freeze, if it runs out, we can buy again. But… — F's Copy Share Image
Dear iPhone, I have typed hahaha like a million times, yet you continually give me hagaha, bahaha, gagaha... I hate you. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
“Well, more or less, you just got struck by lightning." "Wait, what?" My brain stopped processing for a prolonged moment unable to… — Elizabeth Sharp Copy Share Image
“Merrill Krause - "My brothers have scared off just about any fellow who showed interest in getting to know me." Granny Lassiter… — Tracie Peterson Copy Share Image
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
“You should go.' 'This is my room,' he points out, affronted. 'And that's my wife.' 'So you keep telling everyone,' the Bomb… — Holly Black Copy Share Image
I've always loved The Simpsons, just because it was really, really funny. As a kid, you love the characters. You know that… — Alex Hirsch Copy Share Image
“Wow." Josh stopped and ran a hand over his shaved head. "I mean, yeah, there's no beating that. That's the Usain Bolt… — Tom Ellen Copy Share Image
I love Jared Hess' movies. He's such a weirdo and such a nice, funny guy. — Kate McKinnon Copy Share Image
My love life peaked in the 6th grade when a girl asked me to pass a note to another boy :) :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So you find this great lesson however don't just follow one ,since you don't just do one thing all life. — MrAwesome Copy Share Image
Deliberate with caution, but act with decision and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when the ugliest guy you know gets a girlfriend and your still single. — Mario Tomasello Copy Share Image
Isn't it about time that we stopped wasting so much time on what a person prefers? — Karl Malone Copy Share Image
I'm sorry, and by sorry I mean get over it and stop acting like a 5 year old. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Only what is fated to die is capable of living. Only what dies lives. — Giannina Braschi Copy Share Image
It was hard doing scenes with Bobby Cannavale because I would break up laughing because he's so funny. — Peter Dinklage Copy Share Image
Your name is a funny thing. It stands for what you're about, and everything I do is really about pride. — Tom Ford Copy Share Image
Did you do your makeup this morning, or did you just get gangbanged by Crayola? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Who says English is easy? Then fill the blank with either YES, NO or MAYBE. Oh____, I am Monkey. — Jeferson Bregano Copy Share Image
When people try to call me an angel but spell angle. Am I at least acute angle? :) — Sarahi Gonzalez Copy Share Image
You can thank your lucky stars that everything I wish for will never come true. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, "Tut, Tut!" — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Phone on silent : 10 missed calls. Turns volume to loudest : Nobody calls All damn day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Sneaky would be a lime-green Volkswagen. Nobody would suspect the assassins in the lime-green Volkswagen.” — Adam Rex Copy Share Image
