(You watching video by yourself) You: HAHAHAHAAAAA! (You showing friend video) You: Hang on, it gets better. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The big advantage of a book is that it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If you don't advertise yourself you will be advertised by your loving enemies. — Elbert Hubbard Copy Share Image
The main problem with teenagers is that they're just like their parents were at their age. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny... musical theater is what paid my rent and kept me going for the longest time. — Bryan Batt Copy Share Image
I know a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“I giggle a little at that, then firmly cut it out. No giggling. He is not funny. He is stupid and hypocritical,… — Leah Rae Miller Copy Share Image
When I'm stalking my exes on Facebook, sometimes I think, 'I should have never let her go.'...but most times I think, 'She… — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
“Oh. Well was this your first time painting a live model?” She nodded her head, with an almost guilty look on her… — Zack Love Copy Share Image
When a fat girl eats a cheeseburger, people think, "Ew, eat a salad." When a fat girl eats a salad, people think,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my… — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
Oh, my dear boy, were not going to punish you for a little thing like that! It was an accident! We dont… — â Cornelius Fudge Copy Share Image
When you start explaining why something's funny or finding a formula for it I think it loses some of its funniness. — Betty White Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
''A lesson I learned from a toothache : Even the sweetest thing on the earth can hurt.'' — Scarlet Kim Copy Share Image
Isn't it funny - why is it called a tennis bracelet? It doesn't seem very tennis, does it? — John Cameron Mitchell Copy Share Image
A true friend will see you through when others see that you are through. — Laurence J. Peter Copy Share Image
Politician: Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Relativity is a purely scientific matter and has nothing to do with religion. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
“Sometimes it wasn't easy to be polite to someone who locked you in a mudpit” — Samantha Boyette Copy Share Image
Can't pick and choose when you're gonna be a leader. If you're gonna be it - gotta do it every day. — Rajon Rondo Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was very disappointed (at the U.S. Open), and I went out there and I worked really hard. — Maria Sharapova Copy Share Image
How girls put on their pants: *Left leg*, *Right leg* *Wiggle* *Wiggle* *Jump* *Jump* *Squat* *Stretch* Done… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wish my phone would stop correcting omg to OMG... I'm not that shocked — Arjun Loveable Copy Share Image
The girls we want are so hard to get, but the ones we don't want are so hard to get rid of. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
