Funny Quotes · Page 691

Funny how the people who know you the least have the most to say about you.

— Anonymous

“Mel exhaled. "Why are you forcing me into the voice-of-reason role? You know that never works out for us.”

— Kresley Cole

Relationships are the core of our existence because they are the core of God's and we are in His image.

— Terryl L. Givens

The most important question a human being has to face... What is it? The question, Why are we here?

— Elie Wiesel

For fear you will be alone you do so many things that aren't you at all.

— Richard Brautigan

Unless you give it all you've got, there isn't any sense in playing,

— Stan Musial

When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it's funny in any language.

— Alan Garner

If you fall and break both of your legs, don't come running to me.

— Green Monk

Robin [Williams], he's pretty dynamic. I had a lot of fun but I also felt like there was no onus on me…

— Mandy Moore

At 25.. Your parents are still giving you offering in church.. Bro, Forget it.. Rick Ross is sitting on your progress !!!

— Nwaka Jeel

Ven you read the speeches in the papers, and see as vun gen'lman says of another, 'the Honourable member, if he vill…

— Charles Dickens

Landscapes are culture before they are nature; constructs of the imagination projected onto wood and water and rock. It is... difficult to…

— Simon Schama

What's great about having an audience is they can let you know what they don't think is funny, and you can just…

— Maggie Carey

It's funny, I had dinner with my dear friend John Spencer last night and I'm not in the first episode, but he's…

— Stockard Channing

Why did the blonde send a blank letter to her husband in the army? They had a fight before he left and…

— Hussein Nishah

That awkward moment; When two of your friends whisper to each other right in front of you and you just sit there…

— Anonymous

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, You're going to have trouble with it.

— Nikhil Saluja

The easier you can make it inside your head, the easier it will make things outside your head.

— Richard Bandler

I know what I can know, and am not troubled about what I cannot know.

— Johann Gottlieb Fichte

Forcing your pets to spend time with you by closing the door.

— Anonymous

Whether he be an original or a plagiarist, man is the novelist of himself.

— Jose Ortega y Gasset

The future has to be lived before it can be written about.

— Jawaharlal Nehru

Whoever knows how to take, to defend, the thing, to him belongs property.

— Max Stirner

Then i starter krompy kromp with Kroomp Krompp and the i kromped all over the Krommmmp!

— Busta Rhymes

The older you get, the harder it is to find someone willing to share a horse costume with you.

— Anonymous

The more peace there is in us, the more peace there will be in our troubled world.

— Etty Hillesum

Now understands, the reason he cant find his car keys is because he doesnt have a car.

— Ritu Ghatourey

Even the fear of death is nothing compared to the fear of not having lived authentically and fully.

— Frances Moore Lappé

You don't have to stop everything to get organized, you just have to start.

— Donna Smallin

I like the face a girl makes, when another girl she hates shows up on her Twitter timeline.

— Nikhil Saluja

“Bragging about your compassion is the first step towards feeling a genuine emotion.”

— Bauvard

For all my haters, I just want you to know that there's no medicine for insecurities so better commit suicide!

— Nikhil Saluja

I like things to happen, and if they don't happen I like to make them happen.

— Winston Churchill

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

— Anonymous

I actually think being involved in the cesarean would be... I just can't wait!

— Robert Pattinson

What's better than a cherry topping off a cake? Swedish Fish! sugarkrazed

— MilanaMay

Everything is presented in as devious a manner as it could possibly be presented.

— Jon Stewart

All this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings

— Meg Ryan

Black and Mexican jokes are all the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

— Anonymous

We must be challenged to improve, and adversity is the challenger.

— John Wooden