But then, I am always being overwhelmed. I require it to sustain life. — Everett Ruess Copy Share Image
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The Republic-of-China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time — David Coleman Copy Share Image
When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Halloween: Is one night of the year when all households save the most on their electricity bill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you wake up thinking it's Friday and it's Sunday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
If my kids were to make a talking doll of me as a mother, one of my recorded phrases would be 'I… — Justine Bateman Copy Share Image
Nowadays they have 12 directors and 15 producers and 30 writers. And all the writers want their lines said a certain way-which… — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
“A: Funny about my mother. All my life, from the time I was just a little kid, I thought of her as… — Robert Cormier Copy Share Image
“So you st that charge, and then put yourself right smack in the middle of the blast radius?" Brandt asked with what… — Abigail Roux Copy Share Image
Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said… — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
“Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked in poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
I had this very strict rule when I began auditioning that I wasn't gonna do a thicker accent, because it was like,… — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
If you bleach your asshole and add ammonia... would you fart Mustard Gas? ' Asking for a Friend — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If my mom had a Twitter I'd probably get in trouble for someof the stuff I say on there lmao — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you don't know how beautiful you are, you will always be in search of happiness. — Ledisi Copy Share Image
The true measure of your character is what you would do if you were sure no one would ever find out. — John C. Maxwell Copy Share Image
The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentists drill. — Leonard Woolf Copy Share Image
It was nice growing up with someone like you - someone to lean on, someone to count on... someone to tell on! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny - in elementary school, I went by Amber. I never liked Tiffani. — Tiffani Thiessen Copy Share Image
Love manifests towards those whom we like as love; towards those whom we do not like as forgiveness. — Hazrat Inayat Khan Copy Share Image
THE TOILET TOLD THE TUB I GET MORE PLAY THAN YOU, THE TUB REPLIED I KNOW NIGGA AIN FINNA TAKE NOBODY SHIT… — TOILET VS TUB Copy Share Image
Busy yourselves with this, you damned walruses, while the rest of use proceed with the libretto. — John Barrymore Copy Share Image
Creativity often consists of merely turning up what is already there. — Bernice Fitz-Gibbon Copy Share Image
It's funny: everybody is going to have a little bit of different point of views when it comes to parenting. — Haylie Duff Copy Share Image
I can save the world…easy breezy…but nobody is brave enough to put me in charge… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Life, in all its uniqueness, would not be life without the negatives and the positives. — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
If Ross Perot runs, that's good for us. If he doesn't run, it's good for us. — Dan Quayle Copy Share Image
You're 40 and he's 22. Do you have to marry him? Couldn't you just adopt him? — Ann Dunham Copy Share Image
“He wears his cockiness like an ironic T-shirt, but it fits him better.” — Gillian Flynn Copy Share Image
Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval — Green Monk Copy Share Image
