I think there's something funny about people who laugh in the face of convention or surprise us morally. — Phoebe Waller-Bridge Copy Share Image
Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time. — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it. — J Robert Oppenheimer Copy Share Image
The truth about who we really are, beyond all appearances, is knowledge worth seeking. — Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche Copy Share Image
“Double Sword Tavern.” Tristan said, reading out loud. “Sounds charming and inviting.” — B.C. Morin Copy Share Image
Before Shaq retired, they should have made him play a game dressed as Kazaam. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I find it quite funny to see players rolling over trying to win free-kicks or get opponents booked. I've never done that,… — Shaun Wright-Phillips Copy Share Image
If a journalist shows a facility for praise he's liable to be offered a job in public relations or advertising and the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I don't think comedy necessarily comes from a dark place. But I do think what a lot of us have in common… — Sean Hayes Copy Share Image
“It was a little difficult to take him seriously when he sang along to a song about a woman taking another woman's… — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
“Warren returns from his room and sits back down at the table. "I walked away for dramatic effect," he says. "I wasn't… — Colleen Hoover Copy Share Image
“I’m not going to fucking calm down. I’m going to hunt that bastard down and murder him.” “Oh fuck,” Hank rocked back… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
Dear Boys, Until you start having periods, babies, and watching the one you love be with someone else, you're not as strong… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Saying that you do not remember something or someone is a less embarrassing or hurtful way of saying that you do not… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
You must always learn to see yourself as a great advancing soul. — Wallace D. Wattles Copy Share Image
THERES THIS, one person. & there so beautiful. God must have made them perfectly. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when you say the entire alphabet just because you can't remember what letter comes next — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
You see, we're America the Beautiful, not "America Well At Least She Has A Great Personality". — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Shark Week is a great reminder there are fast-swimming creatures more intelligent than Ryan Lochte. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Poor soul - very sad; her late husband, you know, a very sad death - eaten by missionaries - poor soul. — William Archibald Spooner Copy Share Image
I don't want to be a born again anything; I was Born, OK the first time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Be glad that you're greedy; the national economy would collapse if you weren't. — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
There's nothing funny about somebody living an easy life, or so you would assume. — Matt Rife Copy Share Image
I could be a morning person if morning happens around noon. — Michael Angelo De Leon Copy Share Image
Dad, thanks for dating someone older than me during your mid-life crisis. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Do you love the truth more than you need to be loved, or do you need to be loved more than you… — Gary Zukav Copy Share Image
That terrifiying moment when you have to pee really bad and you can't unbutton your pants. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
