As pointed out in a followup, Real Perl Programmers prefer things to be visually distinct. — Larry Wall Copy Share Image
I changed my car horn sound to gun shots, people move out of the way much faster now. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
By today's beauty standards, of course, Marilyn Monroe was an oil tanker. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Wakin up to find another day. The moon got lost again last night, but now the sun has finally had its say — Gwen Stefani Copy Share Image
It's not like every male comic you meet is funny. Like, a lot of them are not funny. — Erik Griffin Copy Share Image
It's funny: the one time I got star-struck was when I met Snoop Dogg. I gave him a hug and said, 'I… — Mark Foster Copy Share Image
In all my movies, there's always a kind of heartfelt element, to be able to do a drama and to be able… — Shawn Levy Copy Share Image
I hate it when I go to the bathroom and come back and all my classmates look at me, and I say… — Hong Copy Share Image
A little girl asked her mother, How did the human race begin? The mother answered, God made Adam and Eve and they… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Could there be a more hilarious sad sack than Duncan Leland, whose trials and tribulations, so wittily conveyed, had me laughing (and… — Mameve Medwed Copy Share Image
“What's your name, son?' Sam said. The man looked to be about Sam's age, but Sam always thought calling people 'son' immediately… — Tod Goldberg Copy Share Image
I have seen and heard comedians who had really funny 'stuff' but yet could not make the people laugh; then, again -… — Al Jolson Copy Share Image
The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as… — Sylvester Stallone Copy Share Image
You know, 'Jake 2.0' had some funny things in it; I mean, I needed my sense of humor to do that part. — Christopher Gorham Copy Share Image
Mobile Texting With 3% Battery Is A Lot Like The Band Playing While Titanic Sank...:) — Rock4u Copy Share Image
Last night I went out for Chinese. I picked up a Team USA Olympic uniform. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
That's humour - doing what funny people have done since comedy began without being edgy and pushing boundaries. — David Jason Copy Share Image
We would rather see those to whom we do good, than those who do good to us. — Francois de La Rochefoucauld Copy Share Image
If the end of a cigarette is called a butt , does that mean u suck ass ? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whether you like it or not, whether you know it or not, secretly all nature seeks God and works toward [God]. — Meister Eckhart Copy Share Image
Robin Williams learned technique. He has the technique of being funny. — Paul Mooney Copy Share Image
Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing. — Sean Williamson Copy Share Image
I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
You don't have to tell everything you know, but let what you do say be the truth as you understand it. — Maya Angelou Copy Share Image
On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed. — Russell Brand Copy Share Image
The probability of someone watching you is propotional to the stupidity of your action.. — Sachithra Copy Share Image
The things that are close to you are the things you can photograph the best, — Sally Mann Copy Share Image
I get annoyed when I solve a hard math problem to find out later that answer is 0. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't let your memory get poor with time. Do the right things to sharpen it ... like... lending me your money! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Let's drink on the beach until we're no longer ashamed to show our bodies on the beach. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You must follow Jesus for yourself, but you can’t follow Him by yourself. — Steven Furtick Copy Share Image
![“Whether you like it or not, whether you know it or not, secretly all nature seeks God and works toward [God].” quote by Meister Eckhart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a33/meister-eckhart-1044_funny_whether-you-like-it-or-not-whether-you-k_920764.jpg)
