Physics would have been much easier if... Tree had fallen on newton's head instead of the apple — LyLe Copy Share Image
No guy in the history of America has ordered a Smirnoff Ice at a bar without hating himself a little. — Jay Black Copy Share Image
“We can't against human stupidity. Because they are too many and too dangerous.” — Nobita Nobi Copy Share Image
In 2009 we lost Michael Jackson, now we have lost Neil Armstrong We are running out of moon-walkers — Gabi Copy Share Image
Filming is a funny combination of having a good time and not being able to wait until its over. — Nicole Holofcener Copy Share Image
Those that will always help a friend, will always have a friend. — Anthony D. Williams Copy Share Image
“That's how come I learned to be funny, so that I'd have something to offer.” — From the film Copy Share Image
Best fight ever in a movie: 'They Live.' I want to do a martial arts version of that, where you think it's… — Scott Adkins Copy Share Image
Verily, I constantly renew my Islam until this very day, as up to now, I do not consider myself to have ever… — Ibn Taymiyyah Copy Share Image
“Maple thought optimistically that human beings, on their good days, weren't much dimmer than sheep. Or at least, not much dimmer than… — Leonie Swann Copy Share Image
Guys, when your girlfriend has Taylor Swift lyrics as her Facebook status, youre either doing something very wrong or very, very right. — Shubham Joshi Copy Share Image
Growing up, you see movies, and the big person is always the butt of a joke or the funny best friend, or… — Danielle Macdonald Copy Share Image
“He slammed the door shut in Ian's face, the lock clicking into place. Ian hit it again with his fist before roaring,… — Rose Wynters Copy Share Image
With Edge and Christian, we were like 'Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure,' the Bill & Ted of WWE. We were kind of… — Christian Cage Copy Share Image
Just telling the facts are no longer enough. You now have to be persuasive, charismatic, interesting, and funny. Just telling people things… — Milo Yiannopoulos Copy Share Image
A girl leaves you breathless after sex. The woman leaves you in a coma. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I miss being able to wake up when I want and go on stage when I want and pull down my pants… — Mark Wahlberg Copy Share Image
Sorry the guy you spent so much time pretending to like lost the election. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Where is the money going to come from? From wherever it is at the moment. — Maharishi Mahesh Yogi Copy Share Image
Shout out to all the people born in 1928 celebrating their 21st birthday! Happy Leap Day! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
*Every Morning* Me: I'm sorry but I really can't stay. Bed: But baby it's so cold outside... — Lamartimothy Copy Share Image
It's scary that 50% of all marriages end in divorce...it's even scarier that the other 50% last forever. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nothing's unstoppable, accept for me when I'm stopping you from telling me something's stoppable! — Po Copy Share Image
My penis is an awkward leprechaun that had not gotten lucky nearly as much as it had gotten bored. — Andrea Gibson Copy Share Image
I want to try and get 5,000 soon,so I am gonna try and do the shoutouts on the walls like we used… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“But then again, I shouldn't judge. That is, after all, my pet peeve.” — Katie McGarry Copy Share Image
Good girls wear white cotton panties Bad girls don't wear any Naughty girls don't really give a shit — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If the last page of your notebook is blank, you surely lack of creativity. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
