Sending a risky text & thinkingoh god, they hate me, if they don't respond within 30 seconds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A man who laughs when things go wrong,has thought of someone to blame it on. — Ace Kid Copy Share Image
Adulthood is just piles of bills and trying to convince your exes how amazing youre life is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher:The test is very easy. Me:Sure it is bitch, you already know the answers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It took me eight books to finally be at a point in my career where I could come out with a book… — John Scalzi Copy Share Image
I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
Models are like baseball players. We make a lot of money quickly, but all of a sudden we're 30 years old, we… — Cindy Crawford Copy Share Image
You walk into the locker room, and you see players with their ripping muscles and stomachs you could wash your clothes in. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids . . . and when… — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
To me, when something's really funny, there's, like, a wildness to it, and it's very close to the wildness of something potentially… — Perfume Genius Copy Share Image
We are fans of Mozart and Beethoven, as well 'South Park' and Borat. We believe that we can attract many people who… — Aleksey Igudesman Copy Share Image
“Van was feeding Christian as we walked in the door. I shielded my hands in front of my face to prevent from… — Jennifer Foor Copy Share Image
