“Nothing makes you think you might need years of therapy like saying the word breasts in front of your mother.” — Katie McGarry Copy Share Image
The only thing that they can be relied on to do is to gallop too far and too fast. — Duke of Wellington Copy Share Image
The Geiger-counter of Olympomania is going to go zoink off the scale, — Boris Johnson Copy Share Image
That's an interesting accent you got there. Are you from stroke-victim? — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me. — Alice Roosevelt Longworth Copy Share Image
“I was a lazy reader as a kid. One nutrition label on a box of Cap’n Crunch and I’d have to take… — M.J. McGuire Copy Share Image
Certain other societies may respect the rule of force--we respect the rule of law. — John F. Kennedy Copy Share Image
“Whoa. Not too stiff," Cody said. "Secure, strong, but calm. Like you're caressing a beautiful woman, remember?" That made me think of… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“Please, comrade! I just want to chop him up for the stew!' 'And that's another thing! I'm tired of stew! I want… — Jeff Smith Copy Share Image
Everyone makes mistakes but only ur girlfriends, wife & boss have the gifted talent of finding, remembering and reminding it to you.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Roses aer red viloets are blue he's for me not for you and if by chance you take my place ill take… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Rose's streak was still intact, with that single to left, the fans would be throwing babies out of the upper deck. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
I started 'Will & Grace' when I was 39, and Nick started 'Parks and Rec' when he was 39. And he's really… — Megan Mullally Copy Share Image
