“It was almost funny, really. Such a strong reaction to a bunch of shirtless guys.” — Kody Keplinger Copy Share Image
Those who cannot themselves observe can at least acquire the observation of others. — Benjamin Disraeli Copy Share Image
Hope you're not allergic to nuts. Cause I'm gonna kick yours up into your throat. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Keep flapping your lips and you'll spend the rest of your afterlife haunting hipsters at Starbucks.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Have a baby shower, then an abortion. Now you just have to lose a little weight to squeeze into all your skimpy… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“The dust made Lily cough. She buried her face in the crook of her arm to muffle the noise. But behind all… — Ellie McDonald Copy Share Image
If you can't,can't be yourself what are you living for? If you can't, can't be yourself you're gonna lose it all — Enrique Iglesias Copy Share Image
“Where did you meet?” he pressed on. I shrugged and considered a little rephrasing. “I was out for a run.” “From who?”… — Dannika Dark Copy Share Image
We're a team, and just by the nature of our sport, we're always promoted together. I think we are definitely two different… — Misty May-Treanor Copy Share Image
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment during atest and you don't know any of the answers, so you just start laughing because you know you're… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
13 year olds having sex and getting drunk? When I was 13 I was injecting heroin and had committed my 4th murder, Pussies. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every day, there's something that makes you go, 'Is this Funny or Die?' That can't be a real headline. — Eric McCormack Copy Share Image
There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen. — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
No one knows what happens when we think therefore we can never really ever know anything — Eyedea Copy Share Image
Oh you're the type of girl that uses your personality as birth control. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It won't be easy, that is why I have always failed where others have succeeded. — Peter Sellers Copy Share Image
One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife! — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
I like really bad puns - proper, red-top, nasty puns - I find them funny. — Johnny Flynn Copy Share Image
Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A #GIRLBOSS is in charge of her own life. She gets what she wants because she works for it. — Sophia Amoruso Copy Share Image
Life is too Short to safely unplug USB, the patient dog dosen't get any bone nowadays. — Yallos Rabiu Copy Share Image
Tip 1: Before you kiss her on her door-step, make sure her dad isn't watching so he cant kill you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When something I can't control happens, I ask myself : where is the hidden gift, where is the positive in this? — Sara Blakely Copy Share Image
The metaphor is~ an origin, the origin of an image which acts directly, immediately. — Gaston Bachelard Copy Share Image
I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal: high enough so you can look up her dress. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
Midlife crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about the same age. — William D Tammeus Copy Share Image
