The only thing I have learned in thirty years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“The coldest depth of Hell is reserved for people who abandon kittens.” — Robert A. Heinlein Copy Share Image
One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. — Danny McGoorty Copy Share Image
Wanna know why they call me Gandy Candy? Cuz' Its Trick-er-treat all year round' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I had a Boy Scout I could make a fire by rubbing his hind legs together. — Robert A. Heinlein Copy Share Image
For years, Blockbuster Video has edited movies. Like The Bad Lieutenant, when he's masturbating while the girls in the car are doing… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
As a child, I was a victim of bullying because of my cultural background. I didn't look like all the other kids.… — Mustafa Ali Copy Share Image
I go to the dentist every six months, I get a cleaning, so... I'm fortunate enough that those fluoride treatments as a… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I do quite like sightseeing. I like churches, museums, galleries and all that stuff. I love the smell of a church in… — Ashley Jensen Copy Share Image
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. — Uknown Copy Share Image
'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
“I can never be perfectly certain whether Helen was got with child by Leonard Bast or by his fatal forgotten umbrella. All… — Katherine Mansfield Copy Share Image
[Grandfather] would manufacture funnies with Grandmother before she died about how he was in love with other women who were not her.… — Jonathan Safran Foer Copy Share Image
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.' — Jeremiah Copy Share Image
Dear dad, you always told me that an honest man has nothing to fear, so I'm trying my best not to be… — Frank Abagnale Copy Share Image
Let's spend Thanksgiving spilling food on our clothes, and Black Friday buying new ones. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
HR Manager is a person who thinks that... a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months !!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There is no place more delightful than one's own fireside. Nullus est locus domestica sede jucundior. — Marcus Tullius Cicero Copy Share Image
The best part of your life is when your family becomes your friends and your friends become your family. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up. — Kristen Chandler Copy Share Image
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. — Paul R. Ehrlich Copy Share Image
We're far worse than we ever imagined, and far more loved than we could ever dream. — Timothy Keller Copy Share Image
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever. — Sigmund Freud Copy Share Image
When women talk to each other, the devil sits in a corner quietly, learning! ;D — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Im a little angel...short and sweet...dont piss me off or your ass will get beat!!! — Ana Chable Copy Share Image