WIFE, A person who sits up with you when you are sick, and puts up with you when you are not; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm the smartest celebrity you’ve ever dealt with. I’m not Britney Spears. — Kanye West Copy Share Image
This Friendship Day, I promise to focus mostly on your good qualities when talking behind your back. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Persecution is not wrong because it is cruel; but it is cruel because it is wrong. — Richard Whately Copy Share Image
I swear McDonald's ads be making stuff look good af' but once you get something in person you'll be like What the… — Lisette Alfaro Copy Share Image
A girl asks her doctor, "Doctor, I've forgotten to take my contradictory pill!" The doctor says: "Are you ignorant?" The girl says:… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
Da Disney channel b messing up...lol...Lee Thompson was on there...he commit suicide @ da age of 29...Raven Symone was on there &… — IG:catone_2_funny Copy Share Image
We have federal regulations and state laws that prohibit hunting ducks with more than three rounds. And yet it's legal to hunt… — Dianne Feinstein Copy Share Image
“He opened the door wider. "He's waiting." He gave me what was probably meant to be a significant wink, but a corner… — Dashiell Hammett Copy Share Image
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
The good news isn't that God is victorious. How can He not be victorious? The good news is we can be victorious,… — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
I've always had a penchant for dialects. I remember getting detention and being told, 'Have a think about where doing these funny… — Nolan North Copy Share Image
Men look at women's behinds and go: what an ass! Women look at men faces and go: what an ass! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
All my wife does is shop - once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself...and spiders. Fuck spiders. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happiness comes not from having more, not from having less, but from wanting what you have. — Gretchen Rubin Copy Share Image
A leader has to keep saying the same things over and over again. — Drew Gilpin Faust Copy Share Image
A girl gives you breakfast in bed. The woman gives you breakfast and head. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Simply put, the promises of God are not automatic; they must be acquired by faith. — John Bevere Copy Share Image
Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Whatever you've learned becomes truly useful to you only once it has become second nature. — Guthrie Govan Copy Share Image
We discover that meaning and purpose only when we make God the reference point of our lives. — Rick Warren Copy Share Image
