You can tell James Duthie to shove that quiz. I have a few other words I can tell you about the quiz. — John Tortorella Copy Share Image
If a man falls down and gets up, it's funny. If he falls down and doesn't get up it's not funny. — Soupy Sales Copy Share Image
When you're younger, think less and do more; when you're older, do less and think more. — John Maeda Copy Share Image
Israelis keep teaching you your own business. God knows everything but the Israelis know everything better. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
Whatever energy you put out there, that's the energy you're going to get back. — Elie Tahari Copy Share Image
The funny thing about bowl recipes is, despite how simple they might seem, they can actually be a lot of work. — Chris Morocco Copy Share Image
When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine. — David Brenner Copy Share Image
People like light and silly, and they like stuff that's really energetic, and you get a character in a film bouncing around… — Terry Zwigoff Copy Share Image
There are some extremely acceptable male comedians out there: Joel Osteen, Abraham Lincoln, the man who played Phil Spector in HBO's 'Phil… — Ellie Kemper Copy Share Image
Shoutout For Shoutout? [= -Give us one first. -Comment 'done' when finished. -NO CHEATING. I'm checking. -Be patient. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
“Sure. What's the worst that could happen." Twenty minutes later, we had our answer. "I can't frecking believe this." I cringed. "I'm… — Jaye Wells Copy Share Image
I hate when Im reading & then start thinking about stuff & before I know it Im at the end of the… — Chinier Bennett Copy Share Image
It is not enough to understand what we ought to be, unless we know what we are; and we do not understand… — T. S. Eliot Copy Share Image
My Aunt Helen has said I should be a writer, but I don't know what I'd write about. Sam: You could write… — The Perks Of Being A Wallflower Copy Share Image
Sylvester Stallone is very funny and he's a great guy to hang out with. — Eric Roberts Copy Share Image
When they were naming the animals, somebody got lazy: anteater? What's it doing? It's eating ants. DONE! — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Ask a SUCCESSFUL person HOW TO FINISH… But always, Ask an EXPERIENCED person HOW TO START — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Seeing a guy after the summer and thinking DAMN PUBERTY DID SOME GOOD STUFF FOR HIM — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Our power comes not from suppressing others but from uplifting them. — Sakyong Mipham Copy Share Image
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
Whatsapp would be a disaster if its ''last seen at'' is changed to ''last seen with — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
The place where I had freedom most was when I painted. I was completely and utterly myself. — Alice Neel Copy Share Image
Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright. — Laurell K. Hamilton Copy Share Image
Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem. — Babloo Copy Share Image
How often could things be remedied by a word. How often is it left unspoken. — Norman Douglas Copy Share Image
A neighbour put his budgerigar in the mincing machine and invented shredded tweet. — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
