“My love’s got a lot of love to give. Unfortunately, she gives none of it to me. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
A girl will bring you breakfast in bed. A lady will be your breakfast in bed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I drank so much beer that I feel like I can ejaculate a unicorn in full sprint. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
John Locke invented common sense, and only Englishmen have had it ever since! — Bertrand Russell Copy Share Image
Well you see, Brazilian JiuJitsu Blackbelts have a blackbelt in… Brazilian JiuJitsu — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
Customers long to interact with - even relate to - employees who act like there is still a light on inside. — Chip R. Bell Copy Share Image
“As of this moment,' Sadie growled, 'my brother's name is Punching Bag. Seems he hasn't been telling me everything.” — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Will Ferrell is probably the funniest comic actor, certainly of my generation. I am a huge, huge Will Ferrell fan. I'm not… — Michael Showalter Copy Share Image
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Leo and she's a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
She's got a great looking husband, a little boy and all the money in the world. She hasn't got the looks, but… — Jordan Copy Share Image
Rally points scoring is twenty for the fastest, eighteen for the second fastest, right down to six points for the slowest fastest. — Murray Walker Copy Share Image
All the women in 'Coronation Street' and 'Brookside,' they are all so funny. A lot of women bore me, but I love… — June Brown Copy Share Image
In 2006 or something, I was recording the voices for this short, 'The Real Animated Adventures of Doc and Mharti.' I was… — Justin Roiland Copy Share Image
