I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy - Hmmm. I think I need a bigger drill. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration. — Mike Myers Copy Share Image
Nerd style of flirting: I wish I could select all your clothes and press delete — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just be. Let your true nature emerge. Don't disturb your mind with seeking. — Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj Copy Share Image
A bad rendition of you is better than a good rendition of somebody else. — Willie Dixon Copy Share Image
It's always good to work where you're wanted. The times I've been where I wasn't wanted - that's just never a good… — John Kapelos Copy Share Image
“I paid, got up, walked to the door, opened it. I heard the man say, "that guy's nuts." out on the street… — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
Humour is the describing the ludicrous as it is in itself; wit is the exposing it, by comparing or contrasting it with… — William Hazlitt Copy Share Image
“Well don't get your hopes up," I warned. "I'm a lot more trouble than i'm worth." "I don't doubt that," he said,… — Christine Manzari Copy Share Image
“Eating be eating, b'ain't it, Birdie?' 'Nay, Uncle Bear: In Caermelor, at the Royal Court, they be so-oh, so much more advanced… — Cecilia Dart-Thornton Copy Share Image
“Dude,” I said low. “All cornfields are haunted. Trust me. I know.” Then I came up on my elbows so I was… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
My mom was funny and nutty. I suppose she had to be to survive raising 10 kids. To cope and keep a… — Tony Shalhoub Copy Share Image
I have to tell you I enjoy Jon Stewart. That's the truth. I actually think he's very funny. I've paid to see… — Megyn Kelly Copy Share Image
