Funny Quotes · Page 449

It's funny where life can take you.

— Kathleen Kennedy

America - love it or leave it.

— Walter Winchell

Anything that is measured and watched, improves.

— Bob Parsons

THIS PHOTO REMINDS ME OF JUSTIN B. !!!! HAHA

— Zhat

I still probably smoke as much as I ever did!

— Willie Nelson

There is nothing to fear from someone who shouts.

— Chinua Achebe

One must be something, in order to do something.

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed. -

— Babloo

“I'm telling you, Augustus Waters talked so much that he'd interrupt you at his own funeral.”

— John Green

I look for the meaning in what's funny, and I look for what's funny about things that are meaningful to me.

— Harold Ramis

I appreciate you acting like you are upset that I was the one who got laid off.

— Anonymous

An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was.

— Frank Carson

I don't know what is truth,but I can tell you how to find it!

— Jean-Jacques Rousseau

I carry a Knife everywhere I go. You never know when you might want to cut a cake.

— Green Monk

Also, at a certain point relentlessness itself can become comedic.

— Allan Weisbecker

I'm in a relationship with sleep and I get some every night... and if I'm lucky, I get some during the day

— Ritu Ghatourey

We have entered an age in which education is not just a luxury permitting some men an advantage over others. It has…

— Lyndon B Johnson

If you don't like the way you are headed, change direction. Go inside. Search your place of inner wisdom. See what this…

— Neale Donald Walsch

I had a hip replacement a couple of years ago. I have a song about that. And why wouldn't you? It strikes…

— Loudon Wainwright III

ABCDEFG Gummy Bears are chasing me 1 is red 1 is blue 1 is trying to steal my shoe Now I'm running…

— Brookie

HOW CAN THIS 15 YEAR OLD BE SO FUCKING CRUEL,RACIST,AND SLUT?! I hate her! How could she say those things about Avalanna!?…

— Anonymous

It's funny, we appear as robots from another world, but what we do, what the robots create, is really human after all.

— Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo

I like ones that pertain to the music they make. Talking Heads does that somehow. More often than not band names are…

— Samuel Ervin Beam

“We sat on the floor for dinner. Ananya's father passed me a banana leaf. I wondered if i had to eat it…

— Chetan Bhagat

Leadership is developed daily, not in a day.

— John C. Maxwell

There's nothing like a stressful day.

— Trent Reznor

“Love is as we will it to be." ~ Amunhotep El Bey”

— Amunhotep El Bey

We know nothing. Absolutely nothing.

— Steven Millhauser

When the going gets weird, anchormen punt.

— Dan Rather

If you have a dream, don't let anyone take it away.

— Selena

Live how we can, yet die we must.

— William Shakespeare

I don't have time for a stroke!

— Jill Bolte Taylor

Everyone is entitled to their own incorrect opinion.

— Brian Vaszily

You bought a Ferrari but you drive it like a Fiat.

— Zlatan Ibrahimovic

The only thing that follows work is results.

— Ray Lewis

Ladies Commit, There's A Wedding In It For You.

— Aries Spears

Honesty's praised, then left to freeze.

— Juvenal

I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a-Soup.

— Gwyneth Paltrow

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

— Emo Philips

Damn sure better win. That's all I can say.

— Larry Coker