Funny Quotes · Page 447

If you try to be funny, you're not being funny.

— John Gordon Sinclair

Don't put a ceiling on yourself.

— Oprah Winfrey

I implore those who love me to love my solitude.

— Rainer Maria Rilke

No not me go find someone else to bring down

— Maya Angelou

Beethoven was ahead of the times, Bach behind them.

— Ralph Vaughan Williams

Leadership is a choice. It is not a rank.

— Simon Sinek

99% of guys are hot. 1% goes to my school

— Anonymous

Not one atom can rest until it finds its freedom.

— Swami Vivekananda

I guess funny people are attracted to funny people, and then you get comedy marriages.

— Casey Wilson

If you dont know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

— Yogi Berra

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.

— Tim Vine

I am starting to realize that secured transactions is law school's version of the Hunger Games.

— Anonymous

We're blessed on 'How I Met Your Mother' to feel like we're doing a bit of a funny playlet everyday.

— Neil Patrick Harris

We are not revived because we sing; we sing because we are revived.

— Aiden Wilson Tozer

Some women are so bored with sex, they only moan during commercial breaks !

— Green Monk

She takes off your drawers and works you over, she calls you Twinkles and you call her Rover.

— Slick Rick

It's funny, actually... a few clubs called when I was in preseason with Hull in 2017, but I wasn't really that interested.…

— Andrew Robertson

I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as…

— Joe Rogan

I never did anything, great or small, without obtaining in advance express instructions from Adolf Hitler or any of my superiors.

— Adolf Eichmann

“Cassian, I think, would also savour the opportunity to shred their entire court to pieces. Starting with my parents. Maybe I'll let…

— Sarah J. Maas

It's funny - Frankie Valli's story and that advice that he was just getting from, you know, Christopher Walken's character, is very…

— John Lloyd Young

“Boric, feeling dizzy and light-headed, shambled toward Randor’s corpse, which was still making an impressive effort to pump blood to Randor’s head.…

— Robert Kroese

Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him, 'Do you think…

— Rodney Dangerfield

“I almost forgot to tell you - you have the right to remain silent, but if you do, my boys at the…

— Rohinton Mistry

Infuse your life with action...

— Bradley Whitford

One not does simply notice the words are switched.

— Nikhil Saluja

You don't have to tell, I know am smart

— Morvado

Thats where he had the word "Goodyear" dermabrased off.

— Jim Cornette

Only the heart knows how to find what is precious.

— Fyodor Dostoevsky

The highest cannot be spoken; it can only be acted.

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

They are who we thought they were!

— Dennis Green

We will never have repose. The present is perpetual.

— Georges Braque

Since you may never discover the truth, invent it.

— Nicholas Lore

I'm not questioning; I'm just asking.

— Alec Straub

You're baloney without the mayo.

— Frank Zappa

Language, as we know, is full of illogicalities.

— Gunnar Myrdal

Courage is how bad you want it.

— Joe Frazier

Don't stop with your first draft.

— P. J. Plauger

“When in doubt," Calypso said, "Tater Tots.”

— Rick Riordan

Human beings create more than they destroy.

— Julian Simon