Funny Quotes · Page 32

You can taste a word.

— Pearl Bailey

Gifts are like hooks.

— Martial

Oxymoron: She's Smart.

— Nikhil Saluja

Whither thou goest...

— Neil Gaiman

My second hit was a flop.

— Shakin' Stevens

She's vibrator dependent.

— Mojo Nixon

Hit them where they ain't.

— Willie Keeler

Keep a secure home base.

— Morton Blackwell

The security of the woman is the security of society.

— Atifete Jahjaga

Sometimes I feel like a vampire

— Anonymous

I like to read the ending first.

— Melissa Marr

“Y are you called the cheese man?”

— Barbara Park

Why is everything so easy for me?

— Kristen Stewart

Thing I won't forget: The way you used to look at me.

— Anonymous

COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.

— Anonymous

Beauty is transient and changes with time.

— Aishwarya Rai Bachchan

I intended to give you some advice but now I remember how much is left over from last year unused.

— George Harris

A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.

— Ronald Reagan

Marry someone who can make you laugh in public and scream in bed.

— Anonymous

Chodan chodan sab kare chod sake na koijab kabeera chodan lage lund khare na hoye

— Baba Burchodan Das

I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.

— Henny Youngman

I accused my friend of being gay yesterday... He was so angry he hit me with his purse!

— Green Monk

Twinkle Twinkle little bitch mind your own bussiness you noice bitch

— Anonymous

Love is not what takes you by surprise and leaves you totally breathless! It's called asthma! -NeSha

— Nesha

A man has two options in a relationship: Either STAND UP and be the man she needs... or... SIT DOWN so she…

— Rachel Copeland

Im through with guys, they all tell lies, they break your heart, and make you cry, loving guys is such a sin,…

— Ana

I think my general disposition on life is finding what's funny about it. When something happens, the first thing in my mind…

— Will Smith

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.'

— Robin Williams

It's funny: When I first heard they were thinking of me for the president in 'Independence Day,' I just assumed it was…

— Bill Pullman

It's funny, I never think I'm doing that well. I've never, ever. I just constantly think, 'This isn't working out.'

— Dominic Cooper

If I need Brain Transplantation I will prefer your brain... don't think that you are a genius….. i need a brain which…

— A Josland

“[..] we human beings are ready and willing to steal something that does not explicitly reference monetary value - that is, something…

— Dan Ariely

I just walk funny.

— Jim Brown

I'm in hate with you.

— Green Monk

Always the same thing.

— Marcus Tullius Cicero

This thought is as a death.

— William Shakespeare

One cannot know everything.

— Horace

Smile … Expand HappinesS …

— Enrique Rocha

Funny, yet not really..

— Rachel Copeland

You like pie? I like pie.

— Barack Obama