Don't Take It Seriously * When the MILKMAN says, Do you want it in the front or the back? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Instead of b*tching about me in your status, just tag me in it next time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I will sit down now, but the time will come when you will hear me. — Benjamin Disraeli Copy Share Image
You know it's going to be a long day when you yell 'Seriously?!?' at your alarm clock. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Once you've put one of his books down, you simply can't pick it up again. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
So today at school.. We had a special visitor. He asked the audience, If you could choose between either having the super… — Sheryne Brooks Copy Share Image
Now, they say that New Zealand is beautiful and I do not know -- because after 22 hours on a plane any… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
Taking punches to the face at six in the morning, it's funny to hear that but, like, I'm grateful that I'm capable… — Joseph Benavidez Copy Share Image
We were talking briefly about cocaine... yeah. Anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that! — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
I know that in my own personal life, the people who I have dated who are funny can get away with a… — Gaby Hoffmann Copy Share Image
8 year old kids today have Facebook, MacBook pro, iPhone, iPad. When I was their age, I had a coloring book, crayons,… — Rashida Rowe Copy Share Image
“Was she pregnant then?' asked Assad. Judging by the number of family members in his photos, it was a feminine condition with… — Jussi Adler-Olsen Copy Share Image
I love Charles Barkley, he's a good friend of mine and he's a funny guy. He knows nothing about college basketball. Less… — Jim Boeheim Copy Share Image
