Funny Quotes · Page 180

The earth has music for those that listen.

— William Shakespeare

One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began…

— Mary Oliver

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

— Steven Wright

Everybody with a helmet on is in the mix.

— Mike Tomlin

The most unorganized place is the woman's bag.

— Charles Elba

It's funny the things the Internet likes to proclaim.

— Rachel McAdams

I can make anything in the room funny in a few seconds.

— Tony Rock

We can make America what America must become.

— James A. Baldwin

It's in our own lives, every single day, whether we recognize it as funny at the moment or not.

— Sean Astin

There was a time when you were not. There never will be a time when you will not be.

— Adrian Rogers

We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.

— George Bernard Shaw

This time of year is tough on many people. Help'em out by shouting SHUT UP as often as possible.

— Green Monk

People naturally want to retweet and engage on super funny videos and memes.

— Jake Paul

Sabbath is not simply the pause that refreshes. It is the pause that transforms.

— Walter Brueggemann

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.

— Bob Thaves

It is not our comment on the Word that saves, but the Word itself.

— Robert Murray M'Cheyne

“She'd had sex with a demon. Tayla swallowed bile and tried to keep her stomach from heaving. She needed to shower. And…

— Larissa Ione

“[the car] backfired a lot. Loud enough that when I drove in the wrong part of town and it let loose with…

— Adrienne Wilder

A couple of days working with Joe Jonas, I thought, 'This guy is a slayer of a singer; he's really funny, goofy,…

— Justin Tranter

I don't watch too much television because I want to write something, and you never want to be influenced by other things…

— Jim Norton

Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I'll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man…

— JC Penney

I mean I've seen 3D films so far and I think it's a long way to go before they replace actors. It's…

— Daniel Radcliffe

Yes, he's got all them different kinds of thoroughbred blood in him, and he's got other kinds you ain't mentioned and that…

— Don Marquis

I do think there are some actors that can get away with trying to be funny, and they're still funny because they're…

— Constance Wu

Topaz is my birth stone. Tomb is my death stone.

— Nikhil Saluja

The time for thinkers has come.

— Mary Baker Eddy

Steps into shower. Then turns the water on.

— Nikhil Saluja

Death cannot kill what never dies.

— William Penn

Don't be absent from your own life.

— Jessica Lange

I can't understand you.I don't speak assholian.

— Anonymous

It is beyond my apprehension.

— Danny Ozark

If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'

— Richard Petty

There seems no plan because it is all plan.

— C. S. Lewis

We can grow gracefully, or gorgeously. I pick both.

— Diane Keaton

“Thomas was sick of being accused of knowing things.”

— James Dashner

Every dog has its day. Every Black Dog has its night.

— Punkinhead Abhishek

“Fate is a funny thing, isn’t it?”

— Winna Efendi

No man's credit is ever as good as his money.

— E. W. Howe

Innovation is only innovation when it's sustainable.

— Donald Clark

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

— Groucho Marx