Brushing your teeth six times before you go to the dentist so they think you have really good teeth. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I work so I can afford the amount of alcohol required to continue going to work. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've always had a feeling that maybe God and Satan were females.. because guys can't keep grudges for this long.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You break it, you buy it. Hell no. I break it, slowly leave it there & awkwardly walk away.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If someone says 'I love you' and you don't feel the same way, say 'I love YouTube' really fast! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I text you a whole paragraph within 5 minutes and you text me back 40 minutes later sayingK ... Are you asking to be punched? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The planet Saturn = 7 rings. Jordan = 6 rings. Kobe = 5 rings. LeBron........just a headband. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The greatest comfort of my old age, and that which gives me the greatest satisfaction, is the pleasing remembrance of the many… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate that feeling when you close your eyes to apply shampoo, and get paranoid that someone will kill you in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you're having the best dream ever and wake up, does anyone else ever try to fall back asleep to finish the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mom, don't worry, I'm werein really tight skinny jeans so I can't get them off and neither can the raper... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When karma finally hits you in the face, I will be there, just incase it needs some help. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God, grant me the serenity to accept the stupid people as they are, the courage to maintain self-control and the wisdom to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
