I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when I'm tired & sleepy, but when I get in bed, my body is like Just kidding! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry the guy you spent so much time pretending to like lost the election. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
George washington said "We would have a black president when pigs fly!"... well, swine flu. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Didn't know how to say farewell so I slapped him in the face and ran away. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry I am posting call me maybe quotes, Kennedy got me started on looking them up:P — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People say drinking milk makes you stronger, drink 5 glasses of milk, then try to move the wall, you Can't, right? now,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The biggest risk for this generation is to have a haircut from a new salon..!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you really want your friends to remember you, give them something cheap. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
OK, I`m getting out of bed in 10 seconds. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 í,9,9,9,9,9,9, .... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh you got Swag? Don't forget to put that on your Burger King Application. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Who else pretends to be interested in a teacher's personal life just to waste time in class? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Reason why I'm single 1) I can't date myself 2) I can't date my celebrity crush 3) I can't date food 4)… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Slamming the door shut, so everybody in the house knows you're pissed off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Here's to hopefully still having jobs when we return from Labor Day weekend. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May the inherent stress and peril of unfolding a beach chair not sabotage your plans to relax this summer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
