The night before Tilbury, the Cordon Bleu gourmet dinner turned out Cordon Brown. Six out of ten to the chef for trying and ten out of ten to us for eating it. — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard. — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
“My sister Laura's bigger than me And lifts me up quite easily. I can't lift her, I've tried and tried; She must have something… — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B? — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don't want you singing at my funeral. — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
May 8th 1943. Deluge. The rain not only fell mainly on the plain in Spain; it also fell mainly on the back of the… — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
The experience of being in the Army changed my whole life; I never believed that an organization such as ours could ever go to… — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
“The die was cast. It was a proud day for the Milligan family as I was taken from the house. "I'm too young to… — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
