If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine. — David Cross Copy Share Image
In New York, you are constantly faced with this very urgent decision that you have to make, about every twenty minutes...you have to decide,… — David Cross Copy Share Image
I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper. — David Cross Copy Share Image
I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner. — David Cross Copy Share Image
There's the disingenuous duplicitousness, but you can apply that to every politician, really. — David Cross Copy Share Image
I remember being a kid and the Vietnam War was huge and looking at Watergate. — David Cross Copy Share Image
I grew up in that minority. I grew up in the South, in Roswell, Georgia, and it was heavily white, Baptist, conservative. And the… — David Cross Copy Share Image
I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the… — David Cross Copy Share Image
It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny. — David Cross Copy Share Image
I still think that, hopefully, you're not ahead of the jokes, and I think that has value. There is a punchline and it's pointed… — David Cross Copy Share Image
You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy. — David Cross Copy Share Image
Most people who have kids are, "Hey, I want another me. I like me. I'm pretty cool, and I've got really great ideas, and… — David Cross Copy Share Image
I was in Antwerp - which, I had about 20 shows left at that point - and a guy said, "That's Dave Attell's." Also,… — David Cross Copy Share Image
