Never read the Bible as if it means something. Or at any rate don't try and mean it. Nor prayers. The liturgy is best treated and read as if it's someone announcing the departure of trains. — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
“She said, 'He knows what I mean. Where did you get those shoes?' He said, 'They're training shoes.' She said, 'Training for what? Are you not fully qualified?' He said, 'If Jesus were alive today, Mrs Whittaker, I think you'd… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
An article on playwrights in the Daily Mail , listed according to Hard Left, Soft Left, Hard Right, Soft Right and Centre. I am… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
I'm not good at precise, coherent argument. But plays are suited to incoherent argument, put into the mouths of fallible people. — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
The thing I think about is that once you've done it, you then start to think about what you're going to do next. It's… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
At the drabber moments of my life (swilling some excrement from the steps, for instance, or rooting with a bent coat-hanger down a blocked… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
There are more microbes per person than the entire population of the world. Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the time scale… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
I'm more socialist certainly than New Labour - I'm very old Labour, really. — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
Why do we not care to acknowledge them? The cattle, the body count. We still don't like to admit the war was even partly… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
Were we closer to the ground as children, or is the grass emptier now? — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
But most men regard their life as a poem that women threaten. They may not have two spondees to rub together but they still… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
“BURGESS How do you like Moscow? CORAL Loathe it, darling. I cannot understand what those Three Sisters were on about. It gives the play… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
