Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking.… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I hate McDonald's. I don't want to order my dinner by yelling into a clown's mouth. If I want my face in… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
If you hate something, you hate it, and if you like something or somebody, you like it, but tell the truth. And most celebrities… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
