Facebook status Quotes · Page 72

Uh, excuse me, Mr. Swagger, Either walk a little faster or buy a belt. Thanks, homie.

— Anonymous

And those late night conversations Shows that you deserve it

— Emanuel Sebastiao

Everyone has that make the other person sound incredibly stupid voice when describing an argument.

— Anonymous

I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

— Anonymous

Waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and avoiding all of the mirrors.

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious.

— Anonymous

Sex with your future wife - Mutual trust

— Nikhil Saluja

If life was easy it wouldn't be worth living, that is why we have obstacles we over come and friends to help…

— Kimiko Martinez

In my version of volleyball I use my legs and also don't play volleyball.

— Nikhil Saluja

This isn't an office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's so fucking sexist to assume that women have vaginas.

— Nikhil Saluja

H.o.m.e.w.o.r.k = Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge

— Anonymous

Some people rather die than be who they truly are. -Just Saying

— Ephrem Hardin

Everytime I go into a port-a-potty I am thankful that I am a guy.

— Anonymous

Its true we dont know what weve got until its gone,but we dont know what weve been missing until it arrives.

— Nix

It disgust me when I see people post and share talking about fixing a relationship is through communication, when they themselves never…

— Rizzi Vicci

I rather treasure an enemy who tell me frankly that he/she hate's me,than to keep a friend thus passion is to put…

— Strawberry

Ladies don't ask for much. They just want shoes, diamonds, less work, free money & a perfect man.

— Nikhil Saluja

I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong. I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems…

— Anonymous

Thanks for inviting me to your baby shower, it reminded me to take my birth control pill.

— Anonymous

Oh wow. You're really gonna fight me over the internet? What's the worst you can do, caps-lock my ass?

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when you have to much lotion on and don't know where to put it...

— Anonymous

Philosopher: A masochistic fool who will be considered a genius once dead.

— Nikhil Saluja

My girl went away for the weekend, and I didn't masturbate once. I masturbated 21 times.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm starting to think that the gym isn't really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to…

— Anonymous