Your pregnant is the only AprilFool joke you women got? Find a new joke cause that been played out years ago — Deon Crockett Copy Share Image
The fellas be wanting a girl who plays video games, watch sports, has tattoos, and wear Jordan's. Sounds like you want a… — Jason Santana Copy Share Image
Did you know? Its impossible to say Good Eye Might without sounding Australian? LIKE if you tried :) — Becca Copy Share Image
I Am Me, I Like Being Me. And I Need Nobody To Make Me Somebody. I Don't Care If People Don't Like… — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
Have you ever wondered if those dollar bills in your wallet might have once been in a strippers butt? You're wondering now... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Like IF u AGREE that From a girls point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a guys point of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Feeling slightly perturbed and irritable. Maybe a tad pissy too, with a pinch of bitchy thrown in for good measures. — Brii Ann Copy Share Image
Life: Every second gives you a chance to turn it all around... and every second is a chance for it all to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my fav cake for me, and I learned that the little things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sweetie, if you opened a book more times than you opened your legs,you might actually get somewhere in life. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Mumbling along to a song you dont really know but that 15 second part you do know is coming and you're gonna… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Welcome to Facebook, where relationships are perfect, liars believe their own lies & the world shows off they are living a great life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If we have 75 mutual friends on Facebook and we aren't friends, the likelihood that I fucking hate you is 100%. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't call me if you're gonna talk to your cousin, mama, daddy, little sister, best friend, neighbor, dog, grandma etc in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To feel good about yourself, is there a quota on how many other people each day you have to condemn? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pizza is like sex, when it is good, it's really good, and when it's bad...it's still pretty good. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It hurts when someone with whom you wanna talk ignores you,but it hurts worst when you ignore that person because they are… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook Status are more coneectnd I think, while twitter create so much confusion in users minds. Because people post so many links… — Sihle Copy Share Image
I want to make a facebook account and the name be 3,000 People, so when I put a good facebook status I… — Carlee Riane Copy Share Image
I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to Single. I fight with my parents… — Shennon Fabiano Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone is trying to get on the elevator but the doors are closing and they make eye contact… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If people could see the face I make when I read their Facebook status updates, they would probably unfriend me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I studied everything but never topped. but today, the topnotcher of the best universities are my employees... — Bill Gates Copy Share Image
I named my first born child after my mother-in-law. In fact, lazy fat ass bitch turns 5 tomorrow. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You'll know when you've touched a heart. They'll act in a very different way that you have never imagined. — Rizzi Vicci Copy Share Image
Childrens ambitions in school are often a glass ceiling, an obstacle to what they can accomplish. — Alastair Arnott Copy Share Image
Girls who say Lots of guys want me should never forget that low prices attract the most customers. — Emaliebaby Copy Share Image
Coworkers love to complain about their weight issues and talk about weight loss plans… As they reach over for their fourth slice… — Kevin Copy Share Image
In 3 words I can sum up what I've learned so far: About Life: It goes on. About Love: It doesn't last.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As my Friend if u hear people discussing me either YOU check them or let me know. If u entertain the conversation,… — LaTruth Hampton Copy Share Image
Getting in the shower and letting the water run down your arms so it looks like you're shooting water out of your… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're at the grocery store and someones standing by what you need, so just you pretend to look… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when people always use yolo to make a sentence sound cool, 'Just bought underwear, yolo.' — Patience Copy Share Image
Mostly all famous inventions start off as an accidents. For instance, my invention of running over cats. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Never talk down about your relationship on Twitter or Facebook. Don't let people know when your home isn't happy, that's when outsiders… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Relationships nowadays = First week: I love you baby.. Second week: Together forever.. Third week: Single.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Unwritten rule of life: If you're in a hurry someone slow will always manage to end up in front of you. — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
Staring at something you just dropped and wondering if you should pick it up or leave it and go on with your… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
George Zimmerman murdered a teen: Bail set at $150,000. Lindsay Lohan failed a drug test: Bail set at $300,000 This is our justice system. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's hard to be far with someone you love..but it is harder to know that the one you love make's way to… — Strawberry Copy Share Image
