You might feel like your whole life has flashed before your eyes, but whatever you do, make sure it was worth watching. — Michael Kilby Copy Share Image
It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook tip: Make sure to give a loved one your Facebook password so they can eulogize you properly when you die. — Mswazi Omarion Copy Share Image
Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Prefix: What a man does just before his wife calls the plumber. Or electrician, mechanic ... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's easier to get funding for a gas station than to start the next Facebook or Twitter in the Mideast. — Shervin Pishevar Copy Share Image
When I die I want to be be reincarnated as a Lizard. Just so I can finally hear a women say Oh… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Is in the drivers seat of my own life but knows that people who lead miserable lives, like to make others miserable… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After 5 it should default to 'Unstable.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
U pretend to know me, u say things that u think will make me feel small, but here is some advise.get your… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
“Mark has the most long-term perspective I’ve ever seen. This guy is uber uber uber on the long-term view.” — David Kirkpatrick Copy Share Image
I Hate it wen Bae b like I Want Him to Inbox me 1st. Then u damn Ready to b an 'X'… — PreezY Copy Share Image
Everyone has made themselves into a commodity with Facebook, Twitter - with all of these things, you're commodifying your life every time… — Andrew Garfield Copy Share Image
Actual warning printed on the bottom of a package of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert : Do not turn upside down. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facebook: a place where people announce their problems to the world but not to the person they have a problem with. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
“Some people I see are so talented that they are just wasting their time on writing at Facebook. Talent must be productive..” — Himmilicious Copy Share Image
“You have five hundred Facebook 'friends'? That simply means you've redefined 'friend' to make it something like 'a contact I exchange data… — Hugh Mackay Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, HAPPY, a union which is in full flower when the husband knows what to remember and his wife understands what to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when you… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“It is proper #netiquette to be conservative in messages you send and liberal in messages you receive. — David Chiles Copy Share Image
They want you to come to their self pity party, so they broadcast their discontent on Facebook and Twitter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Advice to kids: WARNING: Pregnancy can lead to an infant. Sex can lead to pregnancy. Sex releases endorphins. Running releases endorphins. Don't… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Ladies, don't complain about why he came home so late. Take him in the room & remind him why he should get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune intoned in the distance by an invisible player. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
The thing I admire most in my girlfriend is her brains and the way that each of them has an attractive nipple… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hold on to, cherish and enjoy what you have today, because you never know what could or couldn't be tomorrow — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Google: I have everything! Facebook: I know everybody! Internet: Without me, you all are nothing. Electricity: Keep talking, b-ches. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Just a reminder that you dont have to tell Facebook or Twitter goodnight...you can just shut up. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on Earth? — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I blame feminism and Facebook for the death of the American automobile. I'm a Republican, so I blame everything on feminism -… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mostly, those who hate us are blinded from our good qualities just like those who love us are blinded from our bad… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I tweet myself and do all the Facebook updates. It started off with me wondering whether I was showing off and I… — Prabal Gurung Copy Share Image
With the advent of Twitter and Facebook and other social networking sites, genuine privacy can only be found by renting a private… — Robert Powell Copy Share Image
