In the opening to the Mary Tyler Moore Show Mary's in the supermarket, hurrying through the aisles. She pauses at the meat… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I really look at my childhood as being one giant rusty tuna can that I continue to recycle in many different shapes. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
You are allowed to be alive. You are allowed to be somebody different. You are allowed to not say goodbye to anybody… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I feel like they are two different things, and when I write books, they're just books. If they can be movies that's… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
For exactly the same reason, it is sometimes satisfying to cut yourself and bleed. On those gray [sic] days where eight in… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Women smirk at baldness. How adorable would they find it if they began to lose their breasts in their late twenties? If… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
There is nothing about myself that I wouldn't reveal or write about. I don't care how horrendous or ridiculous I may appear in person… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“You must hang onto the scraps of the bucking moment as if your sanity and life depended on it - because actually they do.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking in. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think part of the reason I'm attracted to Foster is because he's such a mess. I mean, the people I have loved in… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“On typical days, (dust) is simply irritating. On Roid Rage days, it made me want to stomp down to the highway, pull drivers out… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Nothing surprises me now," I tell him. I am stoic. I am Joan of Arc, with liver damage and an unused penis.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image