Comedy Quotes · Page 331

Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor.

— Don Rickles

“Every time I so much as blink you get an erection.”

— Carla H Krueger

Usually, if I think something is really funny, it doesn't get any reaction whatsoever.

— David Sedaris

I was sort of the class-clown type, and I was also in school plays, and I always liked comedy.

— Rachel Dratch

Analysing comedy is like dissecting a frog. Nobody laughs and the frog dies.

— Barry Cryer

I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.

— Jack Handey

I'm not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do.

— Craig Ferguson

I've come to realize that life is not a musical comedy, it's a Greek tragedy.

— Billy Joel

Different things just strike people differently. And it's so subjective, too. Because what makes one person laugh won't make others laugh. I…

— Steve Carell

Especially when you deal with comedy, you have got to be really honest because it's the honesty and the spontaneity that causes…

— Austin Peck

If you know me, I don't live in this dismal world. I mean, I like to have fun. My friends are comedians.

— Linda Blair

I just think 'Broad City' - Comedy Central's answer to 'Girls' - is the best thing that's been put on television in…

— Mackenzie Davis

Life's funny. You have to find a way to keep going, to keep laughing, even after you realize that none of your…

— Claire Messud

I've always had fun looking forward, seeing where technology is going, and finding interesting ways of applying that to comedy.

— Tom Green

I drink Peet's Coffee, and they're a very authentic company. They don't try to be something that they're not, and I think…

— Iliza Shlesinger

I'm a comedian. I can't get a spray tan. I can't get a weave. I can't get my teeth done. Can you…

— Alan Carr

But the way they phrase those things when you get to the voting booth, you don't know which way you're voting, cause…

— Kyle Cease

I mean, comedy's hard. If you go back and look at the first season of 'Seinfeld,' it's a work in progress and…

— Zachary Knighton

There were some particular themes that I knew I wanted to hit, and when I got deeper into the project I found…

— Moshe Kasher

I find as a viewer, when I go to see comedies, the strain to be funny throughout the whole thing. I start…

— Mike White

I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid…

— Bill Bailey

They sometimes beat things into the ground. They don't know when to get out of a situation. They think it's going to…

— Jamie Farr

Sometimes I make very selfish choices; like I did 'Once Upon A Time' for my inner 8-year-old and my hypothetical future child.…

— Ginnifer Goodwin

I always knew that someone was going to come at me with a script to play God. It's just one of those…

— Morgan Freeman

The ability to understand and deliver comedy and tragedy is extremely rare in one composer.

— Signe Baumane

I don't claim to have all the answers; after all, I'm just a comedian who reads a lot.

— Adam Conover

There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.

— Garrison Keillor

Laugh as loud as you please at your companion's wit; do not even smile at his folly.

— Johann Georg Ritter von Zimmermann

WHEN YOU GOING THROUGH SOMETHING YOU CANT SEE HOW FUNNY ITS GONNA BE LATER SO LAUGH NOW!!

— LEONARD PAUL ROSE

My fav kind of pain is in my stomach when my friends make me laugh so hard.

— Anonymous

The worst thing you can do to a dictator is laugh at him.

— Samantha Bee

People have a sense of humor, even if it's not a good one, and everybody has stakes.

— John Krasinski

I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that.

— Craig Ferguson

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

— Doug Larson

I don't have any writers. I never get a laugh with somebody else's jokes. I can't do it justice.

— Michael McIntyre

Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.

— Mark Twain

My humor is my creativity, and my skepticism is a gift.

— J. Tillman

You didn't want to laugh, did you? It wasn't very funny, was it?

— Graham Kennedy

The truth is funny. Honest discovery, observation, and reaction is better than contrived invention.

— Del Close

It's my theory that comedy is going to die out in the year 6000.

— Ben Miller