Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up… — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
A man is known by the company he keeps, but a woman is known by the company she keeps waiting. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
Las Vegas is a resort whose two chief sources of income are seven and eleven. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
It's not the loss of life that makes the death bitter -- it's the obituaries. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
“Let those who want to, arrive Let those who want to, leave Let those who want to, stay With out harm to me or… — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
The man who avoids debt doesn't have to worry about avoiding his creditors. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself. — Evan Esar Copy Share Image
