Evan Esar

The diamond is the hardest stone -- to get.

— Evan Esar

There's nothing as short as short-term debt.

— Evan Esar

A word to the wise is -- unnecessary.

— Evan Esar

Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.

— Evan Esar

After wisdom comes wit.

— Evan Esar

All work and no pay makes a housewife.

— Evan Esar

A bore finds it easy to start talking, and even easier to get others to stop listening.

— Evan Esar

The difference between two men is usually a woman.

— Evan Esar

In a democracy, you believe it or not; in a dictatorship, you believe it or else.

— Evan Esar

[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.

— Evan Esar

[Statistics] Fiction in its most uninteresting form.

— Evan Esar

In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor.

— Evan Esar

Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.

— Evan Esar

Some people worry because they are in debt; others, because they can't even get in.

— Evan Esar

“Let those who want to, arrive Let those who want to, leave Let those who want to, stay With out harm to…

— Evan Esar

Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.

— Evan Esar

Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.

— Evan Esar

The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.

— Evan Esar

A man doesn't have vacation problems: his boss tells him when to take them, and his wife tells him where.

— Evan Esar

Communism is a form of government under which every citizen at election time enjoys the privilege of voting Yes.

— Evan Esar

“The trouble with child training is that parents teach their children not how to behave, but how not to behave.”

— Evan Esar

Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is,…

— Evan Esar

Etymology: from Latin ad-, "to" + visum, past participle of videre, "to see". Advice is what you get from your parents when…

— Evan Esar

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

— Evan Esar

A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always start with the germ of an idea.

— Evan Esar

“Character is what you have when you've lost everything you can loose.”

— Evan Esar

Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.

— Evan Esar

Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.

— Evan Esar

If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.

— Evan Esar

The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband.

— Evan Esar

If you can't bear to have your face stepped on, don't try to climb the ladder of success.

— Evan Esar

Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.

— Evan Esar

The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.

— Evan Esar

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.

— Evan Esar

Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.

— Evan Esar

A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it.

— Evan Esar

With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.

— Evan Esar

Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.

— Evan Esar

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

— Evan Esar

Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.

— Evan Esar