Evan Esar

Life is a battle of wits, and many people have to fight it unarmed.

— Evan Esar

A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.

— Evan Esar

Las Vegas is a resort whose two chief sources of income are seven and eleven.

— Evan Esar

It's not the loss of life that makes the death bitter -- it's the obituaries.

— Evan Esar

“Let those who want to, arrive Let those who want to, leave Let those who want to, stay With out harm to…

— Evan Esar

The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.

— Evan Esar

The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible.

— Evan Esar

Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.

— Evan Esar

There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.

— Evan Esar

The man who avoids debt doesn't have to worry about avoiding his creditors.

— Evan Esar

The diamond is the hardest stone -- to get.

— Evan Esar

The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.

— Evan Esar

Etymology: from Latin ad-, "to" + visum, past participle of videre, "to see". Advice is what you get from your parents when…

— Evan Esar

A husband may forget where he went on his honeymoon, but he never forgets why.

— Evan Esar

You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game.

— Evan Esar

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.

— Evan Esar

An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.

— Evan Esar

A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always start with the germ of an idea.

— Evan Esar

Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.

— Evan Esar

If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.

— Evan Esar

A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.

— Evan Esar

Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting.

— Evan Esar

Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.

— Evan Esar

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

— Evan Esar

A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience.

— Evan Esar