You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Do we play Chicago again? I going to hit Othella Harrington right in the mouth. If he didn't have his clumsy ass… — Shaquille O'Neal Copy Share Image
The soldiers kill suicide bombers. Think about that. When a guys whole thing in life is to kill himself and you get… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I collaborate a little bit with different aspects of my own mind. I kick my own ass instead of kicking other people's… — Bradford Cox Copy Share Image
Instead of walking like you're limping, talking yang about me why don't you take your monkey ass and get a college degree? — LL Cool J Copy Share Image
What do we get when the Donald exposes his enormous ass? A trump roast. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Personally, I think neutral is just another way of saving your own ass at the expense of someone else's. — Laurell K. Hamilton Copy Share Image
It is in vain that we get upon stilts, for once on them, it is still with our legs that we must… — Michel de Montaigne Copy Share Image
For most people, self-awareness and self-pity blossom simultaneously in early adolescence. It's about that time that we start viewing the world as… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
[On refusing to be silenced:] I do not pretend to be John the Baptist rebuking the Pharisees. I do not claim to… — Katharina Zell Copy Share Image
"What was that technique you were using on those bastards?" "An ancient form called kicking ass." — Nora Roberts Copy Share Image
Being a parent is a life sentence. You see, that's why normal people should not have children because if you raise a… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
What is with this campy fixation on all things Ronald Reagan? They talk about him the way gay people talk about Barbra… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Pop ya kickstand little mama I'm the Nickster. I'll pop you then I'll pop your little sister. — Nicki Minaj Copy Share Image
I've always appreciated people like Graham Parker or Loudon Wainwright III, who spend their entire lives writing songs and working their asses… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
I would sooner die of a taipan bite then tell my dad that I got bitten by a taipan. Because my nose… — Steve Irwin Copy Share Image
You can't take the heat, get ya ass out the kitchen Matter fact, take ya ass back in there and wash the… — Ryan Montgomery Copy Share Image
Architects spend an entire life with this unreasonable idea that you can fight against gravity. — Renzo Piano Copy Share Image
Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
My grandmother used to discipline me, I mean, beat my ass, and I deserved them, too. — Richard Pryor Copy Share Image
You think that you can hide; you think you can lay low? I'll roll up on your ass like Hawaii 5-0! — Busta Rhymes Copy Share Image