I'm not a comedian who wants to spend far too long on stage.

I'm not the sort of comedian who wants to make audiences think about politics. I'm not clever in that way.

— Peter Kay

Every comedian wants to play the London Comedy Store, and I was no exception.

— Nigel Ng

I spend far too much on taxis. Now, if anyone suggests we get the Tube I say, 'The Tube! I'd forgotten about that.'

— Robert Webb

I'm a housewife: I spend far more time on housework than anything else.

— Annie Dillard

I spend far too much time on eBay buying lamps and upholstery remnants.

— Heidi Julavits

I love fresh flowers for my home. I spend far too much money on them, buying them almost every day.

— Billie Piper

“Target is a paradox of a high street store. It sells everything at dirt-cheap prices, yet you always manage to spend far too much…

— Nick Spalding

From the age of 14, I remember thinking I wanted to be a comedian. But that was like saying I wanted to be an…

— Lee Mack

If I was reading a book about a comedian, I wouldn't really care too much about their childhood.

— Lee Mack

My great-grandfather was a variety hall comedian called Billy Mack.

— Lee Mack

As far as stand-ups go, I always loved Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, and Sinbad. Basically, I love black comedians because they're the funniest. I…

— Adam DeVine

The only difference between a comedian and someone else? We need to make people laugh more.

— Greg Davies

I like to turn up my collar when I'm leaving the theatre and feel like I'm some heroic comedian figure.

— Frank Skinner

At one point when I was very young, when I was first starting out, I thought, 'Well, one day I'll be able to put…

— Bo Burnham

I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you…

— Colin Quinn