A comedian is not a person who opens a funny door - he's…

That's how to make a stand-up comedian: You take a person who is uncomfortable and try to squirrel their way out of it through…

— W. Kamau Bell

As a comedian, as a person, as a citizen, as a mammal - in all of those areas, I am looking forward to the…

— Jon Stewart

Because you make me laugh don't make you a comic. A comedian is a person who, that's how they make their living.

— Dick Gregory

Gary Greenberg is a thoughtful comedian and a cranky philosopher and a humble pest of a reporter, equal parts Woody Allen, Kierkegaard, and Columbo.…

— Gideon Lewis-Kraus

I was a kid, and I would watch standup comics do the 'Tonight Show,' and if Johnny Carson liked you, he'd wave you over…

— Jo Koy

It's very rare that an older comedian sort of slips into an old-school clunker. You know, you don't hear too much of that anymore.

— Jeff Ross

If someone doesn't like a comedian that's fine; a lot of people probably don't like my standup, and that's fine. But I think that…

— Jim Norton

I wouldn't mind gigging around the same era as Jesus, after he gives his speech about the meek and how blessed they are and…

— Jim Jefferies

If I had a choice, I would rather watch a comedian not involve themselves in politics at all but be hilarious than someone who…

— Jon Richardson

My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary…

— Pauly Shore

When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, "And now his watch is over." That's what they say when a comedian dies.…

— Brad Williams

The only difference between a comedian and someone else? We need to make people laugh more.

— Greg Davies

I like to turn up my collar when I'm leaving the theatre and feel like I'm some heroic comedian figure.

— Frank Skinner

At one point when I was very young, when I was first starting out, I thought, 'Well, one day I'll be able to put…

— Bo Burnham

I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you…

— Colin Quinn