If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. — Scott Adams Condescending Copy Share Image
As a rule, anything in a binder has very little value, except as building material. — Scott Adams Business Copy Share Image
Management is nature's way of removing idiots from the productive flow. — Scott Adams Flow Copy Share Image
You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change. — Scott Adams Change Copy Share Image
If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried. — Scott Adams Comedy Copy Share Image
In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog's job will be to make sure… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Awareness is about unlearning. It is the recognition that you don’t know as much as you thought you knew.” — Scott Adams Awareness Copy Share Image
“Skeptics,” he said, “suffer from the skeptics’ disease— the problem of being right too often.” — Scott Adams Skeptics Copy Share Image
“Things that will someday work out well start out well. Things that will never work start out bad and stay that way.” — Scott Adams Failure Copy Share Image
When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“There’s no denying the importance of practice. The hard part is figuring out what to practice.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd… — Scott Adams Advantage Copy Share Image
Beware of advice about successful people and their methods. For starters, no two situations are alike. Your dreams of creating a dry-cleaning… — Scott Adams Advice Copy Share Image
Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Beware of puns and other clever wordplay. The only people who appreciate puns are the people who can do them. It’s like… — Scott Adams Comedy Copy Share Image
In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called Karoshi. I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department.… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did,… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Swing your partner, dosey-do, now clap your hands... uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know... I'll bluff the rest. Slap… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Free yourself from the shackles of an oppressive reality. What’s real to you is what you imagine and what you feel. If… — Scott Adams Free yourself Copy Share Image
The world is like a reverse casino. In a casino, if you gamble long enough, you're certainly going to lose. But in… — Scott Adams Chance Copy Share Image
“I think I’d know it if we were part of an omnipotent being,” I said. “Would you? Your skin cells are not… — Scott Adams Big bang Copy Share Image
“Capitalism is rotten at every level, and yet it adds up to something extraordinarily useful for society over time. The paradox of… — Scott Adams Capitalism Copy Share Image
“The grand illusion of life is that our minds have the capacity to understand reality. But human minds didn’t evolve to understand… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Men believe value is created by accomplishment, and they have objectives for the women in their lives. If a woman meets the… — Scott Adams Goals Copy Share Image
What does it mean to be yourself?” he asked. “If it means to do what you think you ought to do, then… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
One Dilbert Blog reader noted that current research shows that happiness causes success more than success causes happiness. That makes sense to… — Scott Adams Blogs Copy Share Image
“It’s tempting to imagine happiness as a state of mind caused by whatever is happening in your life. By that way of… — Scott Adams Cold world Copy Share Image
“Conversation is more than the sum of the words. It is also a way of signaling the importance of another person by… — Scott Adams Communication Copy Share Image
