I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I think you should live your life so that the maximum number of people will attend your funeral. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“The rest of the universe is like the coin. The events of the past appear to cause the present, but every time… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that's O.K. because the… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
What does it mean to be yourself?” he asked. “If it means to do what you think you ought to do, then… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“If you believe people use reason for the important decisions in life, you will go through life feeling confused and frustrated that… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“The grand illusion of life is that our minds have the capacity to understand reality. But human minds didn’t evolve to understand… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Most people aren’t lucky enough to have a flexible schedule. I didn’t have one either for the first sixteen years of my… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“If your view of the world is that people use reason for their important decisions, you are setting yourself up for a… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“You probably think the majority of your crabbiness is caused by the idiots and sociopaths in your life plus your inexplicable bad… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Everything that motivates living creatures is based on some weakness or flaw. Hunger motivates animals. Lust motivates animals. Fear and pain motivate… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“You’ve seen for yourself that when a sad person enters a room, the mood in the room drops. And when you talk… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. — Scott Adams Copy Share
“If you think your odds of solving your problem are bad, don’t rule out the possibility that what is really happening is that you… — Scott Adams Copy Share
Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue. — Scott Adams Copy Share
“If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea it has… — Scott Adams Copy Share
For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson. — Scott Adams Copy Share
“Failure always brings something valuable with it. I don’t let it leave until I extract that value.” — Scott Adams Copy Share
“On all the important stuff, we are emotional creatures who make decisions first and rationalize them after the fact.” — Scott Adams Copy Share
“What you rarely see is a stillborn failure that transmogrifies into a stellar success. Small successes can grow into big ones, but failures rarely… — Scott Adams Copy Share
“Because everything you perceive is a metaphor for something your brain is not equipped to fully understand. God is as real as the clothes… — Scott Adams Copy Share
“Capitalism is rotten at every level, and yet it adds up to something extraordinarily useful for society over time. The paradox of capitalism is… — Scott Adams Copy Share
The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but… — Scott Adams Copy Share
If you see voters as rational, you'll be a terrible politician. People are not wired to be rational. Our brains simply evolved to keep… — Scott Adams Copy Share
