If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Insanity is always a reasonable diagnosis when you're dealing with writers and artists” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I'm a poor artist. Through brute force, I brought myself up to mediocre. I've never taken a writing class, but I can… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Swing your partner, dosey-do, now clap your hands... uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know... I'll bluff the rest. Slap… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Writers tend to work early in the morning, or late at night, when brains are naturally able to focus deeply on one… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The most important thing when you study hypnosis is that you learn that humans are irrational. Until you understand that, hypnosis is… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“As it turns out, business writing is all about getting to the point and leaving out all of the noise. You think… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I think the pleasure of completed work is what makes blogging so popular. You have to believe most bloggers have few if… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer's cramp. The fancy words… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. — Scott Adams Copy Share
“If you think your odds of solving your problem are bad, don’t rule out the possibility that what is really happening is that you… — Scott Adams Copy Share
Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue. — Scott Adams Copy Share
“If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea it has… — Scott Adams Copy Share
For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson. — Scott Adams Copy Share
“Failure always brings something valuable with it. I don’t let it leave until I extract that value.” — Scott Adams Copy Share
“On all the important stuff, we are emotional creatures who make decisions first and rationalize them after the fact.” — Scott Adams Copy Share
“What you rarely see is a stillborn failure that transmogrifies into a stellar success. Small successes can grow into big ones, but failures rarely… — Scott Adams Copy Share
“Because everything you perceive is a metaphor for something your brain is not equipped to fully understand. God is as real as the clothes… — Scott Adams Copy Share
“Capitalism is rotten at every level, and yet it adds up to something extraordinarily useful for society over time. The paradox of capitalism is… — Scott Adams Copy Share
The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but… — Scott Adams Copy Share
If you see voters as rational, you'll be a terrible politician. People are not wired to be rational. Our brains simply evolved to keep… — Scott Adams Copy Share
