I grew up in a generation that had exponential technological advances. — Louis C. K Generation Copy Share Image
All talking is good, negative and positive. Stabbing is bad; talking is good. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Look at all the minorities around here! I'm the only majority. — Louis C. K Inspirational Copy Share Image
For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people.… — Louis C. K Christmas Copy Share Image
I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
If I'm not on tour, I can run down to the comedy club and do a little stand-up. If you're an actor,… — Louis C. K Actors Copy Share Image
There's two kinds of press that you get when you put out a TV show: The reviews, and the people that just… — Louis C. K Journalism Copy Share Image
You would never do stand-up without an audience. I mean, no one would even consider it. It's like they're the instrument you're… — Louis C. K Audience Copy Share Image
I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don't avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
When my kids were younger, I used to avoid them. I used to sit on the toilet 'til my legs fell asleep.… — Louis C. K Father Copy Share Image
“You need to develop the ability to just be yourself and not be doing something, that's what the phones are taking away.… — Louis C. K Life Copy Share Image
You ever go to shop for tuna, and it says "dolphin safe", and you look at it and kind of go, "Yeah,… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
People are always fighting for attention with things now because there's so much content. Actually, if you don't tell people stuff -… — Louis C. K Attention Copy Share Image
The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling… — Louis C. K Film Copy Share Image
I like pressure. Pressure doesn't make me crack. It's enabling. I eat pressure, and there might be times when I get a… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Dating is horrible, it's awful. I don't get it. It's like you're standing there: 'Hi. Do you want to have sex and… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Sometimes I just want to tell a story regardless of whether it fits what the show is saying. I’ve been in a… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Rob McElhenney who runs 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.' That show absolutely kills me and I am stunned by the consistency of… — Louis C. K Always sunny Copy Share Image
Working in TV and navigating success is a tricky thing. It's easier to navigate the hard work of starting out because you… — Louis C. K Choices Copy Share Image
Someday, one of your friends is gonna get divorced, it's gonna happen, and they're gonna tell you. Don't go, 'ohhhh I'm sorry.'… — Louis C. K Being real Copy Share Image
I was driving in Manhattan. There's traffic, nobody's moving... The guy behind me is honking just at me. He kept yelling at… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
People are too afraid of uptown. A lot of people will tell you, like, "Don't go to Harlem. You can never go… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's a woman I see who's not my therapist, but she's like an old friend who's a therapist in profession. She lets… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
If I found myself alone on planet Earth, no other humans, I would have sex with a monkey in like two minutes.… — Louis C. K Comedy Copy Share Image
I did a show in New Jersey in the auditorium of a technical high school ... Technical high school, that's where dreams… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it. — Louis C. K Comedy Copy Share Image
Maybe God is an asshole...of course not, he's not an asshole, he's imaginary. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Stereotypically speaking feminists can't take a joke. ::audience boo:: See? — Louis C. K Audience Copy Share Image
