You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle. — Karl Pilkington Angry Copy Share Image
If you go away with, you know, a girlfriend, wife, whatever, you have an argument on holiday because you're not used to… — Karl Pilkington Argument Copy Share Image
The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’ — Karl Pilkington Elephant Copy Share Image
What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
it annoys me a bit how people like squirrels but not rats. at the end of the day they're the same thing,… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know… — Karl Pilkington Fish Copy Share Image
With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads? — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Why is it alright to be going around, going mental with a gun, shooting all the monkeys and killing them? Because one… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
We are always making more and more stuff in the world. You know; big buildings, big planes, big boats and that. Will… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might… — Karl Pilkington Baby Copy Share Image
At the end of the day, teachers aren't going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, 'cause it was… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
“I’m convinced the reason they don’t make James Bond movies anymore is because the stunts he used to do no longer impress… — Karl Pilkington Bond Copy Share Image
I love nature - it's probably my most favorite thing. I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I always have a problem liking things that I'm told I should like. This has been the problem with most of the… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out. — Karl Pilkington Anus Copy Share Image
We've invented most of the stuff that we need and now we're just messing about — Karl Pilkington Inspirational Copy Share Image
I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you? — Karl Pilkington Future Copy Share Image
We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age. — Karl Pilkington Age Copy Share Image
Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it. — Karl Pilkington Inspirational Copy Share Image
I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If you are living the dream, how do you know if you are asleep or awake? — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
