If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out. — Karl Pilkington Anus Copy Share Image
We've invented most of the stuff that we need and now we're just messing about — Karl Pilkington Inspirational Copy Share Image
At what point is a wasp ever going to have a chat with a spider? — Karl Pilkington Inspirational Copy Share Image
“The only memory I have was how the wrestler’s balls that were thrust into my face left a saltiness on my lips.” — Karl Pilkington Memory Copy Share Image
Fishing: I don't really like it. I don't really like the expression on the fish's face. — Karl Pilkington Expression Copy Share Image
Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
“There are more idiots in the world than bright ones, but it’s the odd good one that makes a big difference.” — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I think it's clever how Rome have kept a load of old stuff. There's no overheads, yet people are going over there… — Karl Pilkington Clever Copy Share Image
A block of blood should not have the word "cake" after it...they might as well say "shite gateau — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and it… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I'm a bit rubbish at knowing when something is good. But if it goes out and I can say, "I wasn't as… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I always have a problem liking things that I'm told I should like. This has been the problem with most of the… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can't relate to it. I think most people got into… — Karl Pilkington People Copy Share Image
I love nature - it's probably my most favorite thing. I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
“I’m convinced the reason they don’t make James Bond movies anymore is because the stunts he used to do no longer impress… — Karl Pilkington Bond Copy Share Image
We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or… — Karl Pilkington Bears Copy Share Image
I've done some luxury flying, which is brilliant. It has only happened once or twice, but it was nice because flying is… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If an animal is named after what it eats, how interesting is it? — Karl Pilkington Animal Copy Share Image
Getting old is better than being young. You can do what you want to do. — Karl Pilkington Being Copy Share Image
It wouldn't happen... There hasn't been one publication by a monkey — Karl Pilkington Money Copy Share Image
Shitty nappy whizzing through the air, you don't see that in the brochures. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If Dracula can’t see his reflection, how come his parting’s always neat? — Karl Pilkington Dracula Copy Share Image
The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
You don't have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
