If you are living the dream, how do you know if you are asleep or awake? — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
We've invented most of the stuff that we need and now we're just messing about — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
By 78 you've done everything you're going to do. If you haven't bungee-jumped by the time you're 78 you're not going to do it. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Shitty nappy whizzing through the air, you don't see that in the brochures. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If Dracula can’t see his reflection, how come his parting’s always neat? — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
You don't have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
Heaven? Floating about with everyone you ever knew for eternity? Me family does me 'ed in after one day at xmas, I'd rather be… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
We are always making more and more stuff in the world. You know; big buildings, big planes, big boats and that. Will we ever… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone! — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
