The world is so ass-backwards it almost makes you wish you were dyslexic. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
He lasted about as long as the dessert tray at Rosie O'Donnell's house. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we? — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name… — Dennis Miller Funny Copy Share Image
TV evangelists say they don't favor any particular denomination, but I think we've all seen their eyes light up at tens and… — Dennis Miller Denominations Copy Share Image
That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche. — Dennis Miller American football Copy Share Image
What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then… — Dennis Miller Business Copy Share Image
Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I'm glad I don't have a lot of money in the market. And quite frankly, you'd be better off giving your money… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
If you could use the Internet somehow to see how a Fiji sailor is doing, rather than having to read a text… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things… — Dennis Miller Conservative Copy Share Image
Trends don't mean anything to me. If I like something, I'll do it. If I don't, I won't do it, and I… — Dennis Miller Care Copy Share Image
They have an amazing proliferation of TV channels now: The all-cartoon channel, the 24-hour-science fiction channel. Of course, to make room for… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I still feel pangs of remorse over an insidious habit I've had since I was a teenager. About three times a week,… — Dennis Miller Auctions Copy Share Image
The ACLU spent this entire holiday season protesting public displays of the nativity scene. Yeah, that's the problem with America right now:… — Dennis Miller America Copy Share Image
Look, we're Americans: optimistic, addicted to the quick fix, constantly on the hunt for the new and exotic. It's much easier for… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Campaign analysts say that Dean has produced the most innovative web site in this year's presidential race. I particularly like today's blog,… — Dennis Miller Analysts Copy Share Image
In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's… — Dennis Miller Agnostic Copy Share Image
The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity. ... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? [Miller displayed the widely circulated image… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Teresa Lewis, the only woman on death row in Virginia, says she doesn't deserve the death penalty because she only hired the… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Is it just me, or are the 49ers doing an awful lot of ass-patting today? — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time. — Dennis Miller Birth Copy Share Image
Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them. — Dennis Miller Conservatism Copy Share Image
When your mother starts using the word "party" as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in. — Dennis Miller Book Copy Share Image
When you're sharing a mud hole with a wildebeest derriere in sub-Saharan Africa, that's a living hell. — Dennis Miller Hell Copy Share Image
![“I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.” quote by Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/152/dennis-miller-1315_corn_i-think-ann-coulter-understands-that-she_3233735.png)
![“Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity. ... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? [Miller displayed the widely circulated image from the Lynndie England photographs of a hooded Iraqi prisoner with wires attached to his outstretched arms] You're looking at him. Screw…” quote by Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/5f7/dennis-miller-1315_arms_forbes-magazine-has-named-mel-gibson-thi_1793773.png)
