Every night I keep a pillow under my gun in case a murderer threatens me to a pillow fight. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“When in a frying pan, thank your stars. You will reminisce about it moments later, when you fall in the fire.” — Prashant Yadav Copy Share Image
Rumours? Well at least you're spreading something else besides your legs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“If thinking should precede acting, then acting must succeed thinking.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
If you're going to be a smartass first you have to be smart, otherwise you're just being an ass! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“He had not the makings of that honest man to whom success comes naturally.” — James Jones Copy Share Image
Congratulations, you have officially earned the Dumber than a Box of Rocks Award. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit in conversation is only a readiness of thought and a facility of expression, or a quick conception and an easy delivery. — Alexander Pope Copy Share Image
I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Without the assistance of eating and drinking, the most sparkling wit would be as heavy as a bad soufflé, and the brightest… — Alexis Soyer Copy Share Image
I have little brothers and sisters, and they annoy me a lot, but I love them so much because they're so smart… — Letitia Wright Copy Share Image
I took nine years of French, but I can't remember any of it. I realized on the plane ride over that if… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this? — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
Wit is the clash and reconcilement of incongruities, the meeting of extremes around a corner — Leigh Hunt Copy Share Image
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Maybe there won't be stars, maybe there won't be retweets, but by God there'll be slying! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, GOOD, A man who feels in his pockets every time he passes a mailbox — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WATERBED, A device that may help a marriage -- then again, the couple may drift apart — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There is nothing as tragic as being alive and not enjoying life... Life should be celebrated! — Joyce Meyer Copy Share Image
I hope that the kind reader recognises this as a despairing attempt at humour. — Nancy Springer Copy Share Image
Other people are quite dreadful. The only possible society is oneself. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
I don't write cheques anymore because I end up signing them "with love, shan rukh" — Shahrukh Khan Copy Share Image
Pride only helps us to be generous; it never makes us so, any more than vanity makes us witty. — George Eliot Copy Share Image
I mention someone, get no replyback, and I'm left feeling like an idiot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Many a witty inspiration is like the surprising reunion of befriended thoughts after a long separation. — Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel Copy Share Image
