The field of consciousness is tiny. It accepts only one problem at a time. — Antoine de Saint-Exupery Copy Share Image
Every father thinks that his son is an idiot, but only my dad is right. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've met many thinkers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. — Hippolyte Taine Copy Share Image
A man with a dream. A very simple dream, mostly involving nachos and beer, but a dream nonetheless. — Marc MacKenzie Copy Share Image
Smile. Nod. Say something witty before he finds out what an incredible geek you are. — Ellen Hopkins Copy Share Image
It was the experience of mystery - even if mixed with fear - that engendered religion. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature. — Richard Brinsley Sheridan Copy Share Image
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel: Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice; takes care of business. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day - it's just that… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
They sit there in committees day after day, And they each put in a color and it comes out gray. And we… — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I'm not so quick-witted. I wish I was. We're pretty different and I kind of live through her in a way, always… — Leisha Hailey Copy Share Image
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Want to make a good first impression on a guy? Ask questions about him, seem interested, listen, giggle and swallow. — Family Guy Copy Share Image
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Anger, intelligence, and wit are ultimately more seductive than zero percent body fat.” — Maria Raha Copy Share Image
A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man. — Cyrano de Bergerac Copy Share Image
KISSING, While, medically, it may not spread infection -- it sure lowers a girl's resistance; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
New York City gritty committee pity the fool that act shitty in the midst of the calm, the witty. — Pharoahe Monch Copy Share Image
Children and zip fasteners do not respond to force ... except occasionally. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Huddled in dirt the reasoning engine lies who was so proud, so witty, so wise. — John Wilman Copy Share Image
I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pick-Up Line: That blouse looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I read as many books as most men do, I would be as dull-witted as they are. — Thomas Hobbes Copy Share Image
Here lies a Proof that Wit can never be Defence enough against Mortality — Aphra Behn Copy Share Image
Let's bring it up to date with some snappy nineteenth century dialogue. — Samuel Goldwyn Copy Share Image
I don't have anger issues, I have issues with idiots who make me angry. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Instagram and nightclubs are where ugly people go to trick people into thinking they're hot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
