When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter." — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter. — Don Herold Copy Share Image
The best number for a dinner party is two; myself and a damn good head waiter. — Nubar Gulbenkian Copy Share Image
I was a lousy waiter, dealing with people and having people in your face like that. — Judge Reinhold Copy Share Image
One of my many early jobs was a waiter at a hotel called The Grove. It's a luxury hotel. — Naughty Boy Copy Share Image
The preacher is not a chef; he's a waiter. God doesn't want you to make the meal; He just wants you to… — John Macarthur Copy Share Image
“Bring him his Calvados immédiatement or I will slap your face,” snapped Le Comte de Nancy. The ashen-faced waiter raced off and… — Richard C. Morais Copy Share Image
One day you're filling out applications to be a waiter, and the next you're nominated for an Oscar. This business is crazy. — Alec Baldwin Copy Share Image
Well, isn't Bohemia a place where everyone is as good as everyone else - and must not a waiter be a little… — Djuna Barnes Copy Share Image
In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor. — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
I don't consider myself an actor, for me it's employment. Like the actor who's a waiter a lot, I'm an actor when… — Henry Rollins Copy Share Image
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
“Waiting around to be perfect never amounts to anything. Don't be a waiter or you'll be serving other people.” — Ian Desabrais Copy Share Image
I wrote 'The Room', 'The Birthday Party', and 'The Dumb Waiter' in 1957, I was acting all the time in a repertory… — Harold Pinter Copy Share Image
Tipping generally changes depending on where you are in the world. In Britain you don't always have to tip, but I always… — Andy Murray Copy Share Image
I got my first break and became a singing waiter at eighteen or nineteen. I couldn't make a living at it. I… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“His and hers?" "No," he says. "I don't care which, but make sure there's no difference in the plates. I'd rather the… — J.M. Darhower Copy Share Image
Everything I do, I go to black people. If I have a problem at the airport, I'll go to the black ticket… — Gary Owen Copy Share Image
“sometimes life's like a bad waiter and serves you exactly what you don't want. You can cry and scream and order him… — Lorna Landvik Copy Share Image
... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
My father was a waiter basically, and when I got my first professional job as an actor, I left a job that… — Alfred Molina Copy Share Image
When somebody is a little bit wrong - say, when a waited puts nonfat milk in your espresso macchiato, instead of lowfat… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“One moment—” I answered. “This table is taken. I’m waiting for someone.” “Not allowed, sir,” said the waiter. “No seats can be… — Erich Maria Remarque Copy Share Image
The small irritations or indignities that we experience are nothing compared to what a previous generation experienced. It's one thing for me… — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the… — Lynne Truss Copy Share Image
“A waiter came swiftly along the room, and then stopped dead. His stoppage was as silent as his tread; but all those… — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
I was specifically referring to the regular everyday people that you come across on your come up. You never know if that… — Charlamagne Tha God Copy Share Image
“is there any I could get a glass of water?" [waiter]There is no way... I toss and turn many a night trying… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
Our favourite item was the balcony that overlooked the sea because it had an awning that you lowered by pressing an electric… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
If you wait for the waiter in the restaurant, Aren't you a waiter? — Michael Angelo De Leon Copy Share Image
I would say a full-time waiter in a high-price house could easily make $75,000, $80,000 a year. — Tom Douglas Copy Share Image
Leave the table while you still feel you could eat a little more. — Helena Rubinstein Copy Share Image
I wanna try being a waiter at restaurant or work to introduce Korea to other people! — Seungri Copy Share Image
“a flesh-and-blood waiter and therefore as rare in San Francisco as a flying horse,” — Christie Golden Copy Share Image
“I serve the people. Am I a politician? No, I’m just a greedy and corrupt waiter.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
![“The small irritations or indignities that we experience are nothing compared to what a previous generation experienced. It's one thing for me to be mistaken for a waiter at a gala [an alleged incident that Mrs. Obama had just recounted to the interviewer]. It's another thing for my son to be…” quote by Barack Obama](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/b54/barack-obama-17_dresses_the-small-irritations-or-indignities-tha_2805028.jpg)
![“is there any I could get a glass of water?" [waiter]There is no way... I toss and turn many a night trying to think up some way some how I could get glasses of water to costomers but I keep coming up empty… Legend has it there was a waiter here many years ago... who had figured out a way to do…” quote by Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/df5/brian-regan-3918_comedy_is-there-any-i-could-get-a-glass-of-wate_3196051.jpg)
