Redneck Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy · Page 3

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get…

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...your home has more miles on it than your car.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...your child's first words are 'Attention K-Mart shoppers!'

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy