Redneck Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy · Page 2

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for…

— Jeff Foxworthy

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

— Jeff Foxworthy